Teenagers

I've been thinking long and hard about something lately ... teenagers. Specifically, OUR teenager. :) Brennan is now 13 1/2 and I can hardly believe it! He is growing up so fast and is becoming such a wonderful young man. I love watching him grow up and learn to think, reason, and make good decisions. I love his heart for God and his desire for righteousness. We have not gone into the teen years thinking their 'awful' as the world paints them to be. Rather, we have gone into these years with excitement, truly believing 'the best is yet to come'.

And, yet the last few days especially, the reality of parenting a teenager has been so 'in my face'. Brennan has been going through 'issues' lately at school and with friends that have really challenged not only what we believe, but how to communicate what we believe. They're not MAJOR issues like drugs, drinking, etc. However, they're issues of the heart, character issues. Brennan is so naive sometimes, which on one hand we love and on another it scares us! :)

For example yesterday he comes home from school and tells me something, just as if it was a normal part of our day (I'll save the details to 'protect' him! :)). And, as he's talking, I'm like, "What?!" and just continues on like it's no big deal. So, I begin to question him to make sure I'm getting the full understanding here and he seems to realize something isn't quite as right as he was trying to pass it off to be and so he begins to get a bit defensive and justify his actions/thoughts. But, after about 20 minutes of sometimes calmly and sometimes not-so-calmly trying to get my point across, he finally seemed to get it. About 5 minutes later, he comes back to me and apologizes and begins to share the raw honesty of his heart and his inner longings, desires, sins, and just the little things of his heart that simply were manifested in this situation.

(I know this is vague, but I really do want to protect is heart by not sharing too many details!)

Later on last night, Steve and I were discussing this issue, but also the reality of how things are changing. This issue with Brennan was not 'major' in the sense of doing anything horribly wrong or what not. However, what I saw underneath was his 'motivation' and more character issues of the heart. That's what I was addressing, not the real situation, so much. And, I think the reality of that is what is sobering to me.

Ya' know, when our boys were little, it was pretty easy to tell them, 'Do this. Do that. Why? Because Mom said so.' We expected first-time obedience and we had standards and rules, and although their were challenging days, we look back now and realize how easy it was. LOL But, something changes the older they get. You realize it's not just about actions and what they do or don't do. But, it goes so much deeper. We are really training our boys to be grown men. Men of character. Men with a passion and desire for One Thing -- to love God with everything they are, and out of that, to love their neighbor as them self.

When we got back from Iowa this past Monday, Steve had orchestra practice and Brennan begged to go with him so he could go to the prayer room at IHOP. I was so tired and Nate wanted to just 'relax', so we stayed home, Steve went to Orchestra practice and Brennan went by himself to the prayer room (we got permission, Steve was nearby, and there's plenty of adults there, don't worry! LOL). And, he just spent time with the Lord and God showed him some pretty awesome stuff that he was sharing with us later that night.

So, I see is desire and longing for the things of God and I see this pull of the world. It's no different than the rest of us -- there is a war going on for the human heart. Jesus is looking for voluntary love. A love that will choose Him and His ways over our fleshly desires. I know that t be true of my own heart, and now I'm seeing it before my eyes, in my son. A war in the spiritual realm going on for his heart. And, I realize that although we have parenting responsibilities to train and encourage him in the way in which he should go......I'm also realizing just how 'powerless' we really are. We cannot 'make' Brennan choose to follow God or to do what is right. Sure, we can have boundaries and consequences, etc. However, ultimately, these are issues of the heart, and only the heart can God truly access.

This causes me to really go to a whole new level in prayer for my son (Nate too!). As he enters his teenage years, these are my two main prayers:

"Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes, that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom." - Song of Solomon 2:15

Foxes, little foxes, will spoil and ruin the fruit. My prayer is that God will bring those little 'foxes' to Brennan's attention. Just like yesterday-- Brennan didn't even have to tell me that situation, but I think he already knew in his heart that something wasn't 'right'. That is the Holy Spirit at work and so we're teaching and training him to respond to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and that is God 'catching' those little foxes that threaten to ruin the fruit in his life.

"The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord." - Psalm 45:11

Anyone that knows me very well, knows that this is probably my most favorite verse in the entire Bible. If I had one verse that summed up my life's message, it would be Psalm 45:11. Having been raised in the church and having been in several ministry capacities, I see it over and over again where we reverse the order of that verse. We try so hard to honor, honor, honor the Lord, by doing, doing, doing, and then we remind ourselves Jesus loves me, because of what we did. Oh most of us won't admit, or even realize that, but the reality is that we think somehow that our 'performance' earns His love or His ability to at least like us, or at the very least - put up with us.

But,the truth and reality is that He created us! That is why He is enthralled with us! ENTHRALLED....CAPTIVATED! THEREFORE............... I honor Him. When we really begin to grasp the reality of His passion and desire for us; when we are overwhelmed by how much He desires and pursues our heart, we can't help but abandon ourselves to Him and say 'no' to the things of this world.

This has been the prayer over my own life, and this is my fervent prayer for my son(s). I pray that Brennan would truly be drawn into this intimate, abandoned relationship with the Lord. That he would be overwhelmed by the Lord's desire for His heart. That he would come to really know the emotions of a God who is glad over his life. A God who is enthralled and captivated by just one glance of Brennan's eye. This is the longing of my heart. I know that as Brennan is drawn deeper and deeper into the heart of our God, all of the other things will melt away.

So, this is the raw emotion of this Mother's heart this morning. The reality of prayer and the necessity of praying for our children. I've known this on one level with them, but the older they get, the more it spurs me on and challenges me to uphold their hearts before the throne of the one who loves them more than I ever could. I love, love, love, what God is doing in our children and my desire is that it would only continue. As our old pastor used to say, "I want my ceiling to be their floor." I want them to run the race set before them with great tenacity, endurance, and faithfulness....under girded by love.

It's all about love....