One Year

I can't believe how long it's been since I've blogged. Oh there's been many days that I've wanted to, many days that I've thought about it, but it's just seemed so hard lately to get the feelings in my heart out into words that make any sense. We've been going through a lot, much that I can't share at this point, sadly. But, let me just say this.......fostering/adoption is NOT for the faint at heart. It is often brutal........and it has been in many ways. The Department of Human Services is not what I would call a 'well-oiled' machine, in how they run things, and we have been through much with them and the entire situation that concerns Spunky and her extended family and siblings. It's been ugly, emotional, and just downright HARD. Please keep praying for her, pray for our family, and just this whole ugly situation. We are looking at about a MONTH before we are finally able to finalize her adoption, and let me tell you.......that day can't come soon enough!!!!!!! We are so ready to make her a permanent member of our family and we are so ready to get the DHS out of our lives! :)

Anyway...........(gosh, there's so much I wish I could say on here......it drives me crazy to have to be so 'secretive' right now and keep things so hush, hush and confidential........so not my personality!!!)......

Anyway.......

Today has been kind of emotional as I've thought back to a year ago. One year ago today, Spunky, and her four siblings were taken from their Mother and placed in their first foster home. One year ago today, our soon-to-be-daughter, became a ward of the State of Iowa. When I realized today was the day, it hit me a lot more emotionally than I would have expected.

But, all I could think of was this precious little girl and how she must have felt that day. I thought of the picture I have from a year ago and how sad she looked. I thought of the foster kids who have come and gone through our home and how scared they are when they first come. What did she feel that day? What was going through her brain? How was her heart feeling that first night, in a strange home? Was she scared? Was she sad? Was she crying? Or did she already start the process of shutting down her heart to protect herself? What was going on in her little 3 1/2 yr. old heart? My heart ached to think of her having to go through all of that, so wishing I could have been there to protect her from the pain.

I am so incredibly grateful for the first foster home they were in. A beautiful family with loving, kind hearts......a family who loves Jesus!!! These kids were submerged in a home of structure, but a home of love and kindness. A home where they were prayed for, taught about Jesus, and taken to church. Our hearts are so grateful that this is the home they were in! Again, we know and understand what those days/hours/weeks are like when they first come into custody. It's crazy and the kids are pretty crazy as they try to process things and adjust to a new 'life' with new family, new home, new everything. And, this family took in five siblings and loved them so well!!!! Our hearts will always be grateful!!!!!

And, today as I watched her laugh, dance, play with the boys, pray, sing, and just be a beautiful, content, happy, peaceful little girl........I was deeply grateful to the Lord for how He has rescued her and for how He is restoring her innocence, restoring her heart. I am so grateful for His protection of her life and that He is giving us the privilege of being her forever family. Who would have thought a year ago that today we'd have this precious girl in our home? And, tonight as I tuck her in to bed and kiss her little head, I am so happy and so grateful that she is just about MINE!!!!