My heart

This morning I woke up thinking about the two foster kids we had last year, M & B. They were with us for 7 months and they secured a very deep place in our hearts. It was so very difficult when they moved them to a new home. The "plan" was for them to be returned to their dad a few months later, but quite honestly, the little we knew about the dad, we were not at all optimistic that he'd get them back nor that he could actually take care of them.

I have often thought of them and wondered how they were doing. We went through so much with them and really fought for their hearts, and especially with B, we did so much to facilitate attachment, that it's just hard to not think about them.

Usually I just look at pictures and pray for them, but today I decided to email the caseworker they had. Come to find out, she's no longer their caseworker and they've been transferred. So, this means, they've had THREE caseworkers in the last year. Hmmm....wonder how that works for them? Talk about instability. She forwarded my name onto the new caseworker, but honestly I'm not hopeful that I'll actually get a response. We shall see.

But, my heart just aches today. We really loved those kids and knew that they would not go to a good home environment if they went back with dad. We also knew that the new foster home after us did not want to keep them. I can only imagine what the last year has been like for them. M is now 11 and B is about ready to turn 4. I wish I could just 'see' them, even if from afar to know how they're doing.

This is the hard part of foster care, the part you know you're getting into when you say 'yes'......and the part that we embrace because the kids are so worth it. But, gonna be honest......today I just miss them and pray that God is keeping and protecting their hearts as they go through the craziness of the system.